Thursday, July 23, 2009

We Are Born To Love, And Wonder At The Stars.

Daddy, can you hear me up there? I'm never sure.
Daddy, I have something to tell you, but you know already.
Daddy, I am scared by this.
Daddy, I am crying, just a little bit. But I cry every time I talk to you, and damn it where are my tissues.
Daddy, life is confusing and overwhelming, and how dare you leave me to do this on my own?
I'm sorry Daddy, I'm emotional at the moment.
I laugh, and then I cry, and then I love a little bit.
But there's a light space in my chest. In that spot. The one that used to be full of grey, and made smiling difficult.
I smile more now Daddy. But you knew that too.

I wish she'd understand. But I don't think she can.
I know you loved her for a reason, and the reasons still shine through. From time to time.
But she lost herself a bit, when she lost you.
Daddy, someday soon I am going to break my mother's heart. A little more.
And you're not here to fix it.

Daddy, I dreamed last night that I was in a bathtub. I sank to the bottom, and looked up through the water at the stars.

Oh and Daddy, I'm getting a kitten. His name is Norman. He looks like marmalade.
I have a feeling you were a cat person.


  1. Dear Bethany.
    I love your pink jeans.
    But I love you even more!


  2. Dear Bethany.

    I love furry purry ginger marmalade kittens.

    But I love you more.


  3. I presume and I smile through my tears and I open my eyes and i look at the stars.

  4. Ah I love your blog!

    Its corgeous.

  5. Dear Amielia and Shannymouse, I love YOU more.
    I win. <3 xx and aren't the stars lovely tonight?
    I wish they always shone so brightly.

    and Esme, thanks- your blog is cadorable :)

  6. new post needed, stat! I'm getting withdrawals.

  7. awww, very moving. :'}

    ♥ maria-thérèse

  8. hrm... looks like i haven't missed anything.....

  9. you stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill haven't posted anything!

  10. I love you :) I hope you are curled up somewhere nice at the airport, enjoying Robin Hobb. I thought I would do a review of it and you can do a review of it and then we can put them on somepretties.

    Oh and maybe you could possibly ask the bus driver what to do when you have lost a ticket so you have paid for another one......? refund maybe? It's no big deal. hehehe, you wont get this until you get home anyway. I'm a bit silly.

  11. I am starting a new blog.

    Its called 'the blog I write in Beth's comments'. Every post is something along the lines of la dee dah dah I'm bored and I miss you and is it time for you to come back yet?

    I love you muchly. I hope the mulberries wait until you are here to ripen. We can have berry fights and berry stained lips and fingertips. AND I am totally going to take you down south for a weekend - we can go in the caves and see the stalagmites and stalagtites.

    I probably should write on my own damn blog.

    Also, I have lost an essential piece of my tripod, do you know where it is??

  12. aww, sorry!
    (also *quiet yaaaay* I loves comments)