Today I miss my girlfriend and my kitty, and my goodness I'm tired.
I had the strangest, most unsettling dreams last night. I won't tell you about them because other people's dreams are never very interesting "and then all of a sudden I wasn't in space, but I was still wearing my space suit.." etc. But they were intermingled with strains of Bon Iver. I thought this was odd. But it turns out my laptop was just on and singing to itself.
Bus trips leave me exhausted. Two per week are too much. But two weeks away from home feels so long.
I get lonely. And low.
I went for a walk tonight and thought about how beautiful this city is in the rain. The streetlights smudge into the night, and the light spills across the wet cement and bounces back to illuminate, just everything.
This was meant to be the most exciting thing, moving back to the city that's always felt like home.
It's vibrant, and busy, and unique.
I took some photos the other day to remind myself, but I've lost my phone, so that doesn't really help much.
I know that if I let it, this environment will stretch me and fill me up. It will help me to become the person I think I want to be.
I think. But some days, some hours, today, this minute, all I want to be is... is--
Is a someone with a blanket, and a purring white cat, reading in bed while my love sleeps beside me.