Yesterday I was talking with a friend, I think she's a friend. At the very least, a person who I admire and enjoy talking to. She was telling me about a girl who was causing trouble for the people around her.
A girl who was sick, and wasn't paying her rent, and was hiding in her room, and only coming out at night. Who cried when people were kind, and screamed when they tried to make her face reality.
And all I could think was, she sounds like the girl I used to be.
I said this, and my friend said "But you're awesome".
Extract some lies, and add on a night where everything falls apart, a night that looks like blood, and metal and a black coat that I never wore again.
A failed relationship, a refusal to let go.
I wasn't always awesome.