Katya

I am obsessed with Katherine Mansfield.

I am toying with the idea of having her name tattooed onto my body.

Or a patch of manuscript.

I'm reading book after book, and skipping the endings so she won't die.

Although of course, I know that she is dead.

"I would like to speak Russian with you". Some of the last words she wrote.

Russia called to her. She was in love with Chekhov.

She never made it home.

And they called her a liar. And a manipulator. And a plagiarist.

Her husband married a woman who looked like her.

And his second wife learned to write with Katherine's hands.

And when I think about it all, I feel sad.

But also --

--

she used to write when she couldn't find the rest of her sentence.

--

And so--

Ramblings About Coffee, Birthdays And Kate Cooper.

I'm listening to An Horse again. And drinking coffee with a lot of marshmallows...possibly, actually, eating marshmallows with a small amount of coffee...Mmm gooey, sticky mess. My heart is happy.
An Horse...I think Kate Cooper might be my new favourite person. I'm resisting the urge to go all Fangirl and find out everything about her though. Partially because I'd feel creepy, but mostly because I don't want stuff like "how old is Kate Cooper?" to show up in my Google search box every time my flatmates borrow my laptop. Because then they would think I was creepy.
Also when we meet and become best friends for ever, she might find it creepy...Ha, sometimes I think I'm a bit funny. But it might just be the caffeine or the copious amounts of sugar/ red food colouring.

I'm already excited about my birthday...even though it's still over a month away. I'm EXCITED!
I feel like I have to make up for my lack of excitement last year.
I was away from my family..and it was during the first week back at school...and I was broke...
and I'd only been in Wellington for a few months....so I hadn't met many people...
and ALL of the new friends I'd made had left for the States a week before. Words of advice, by all means, befriend the international students, but make other friends as well, because they leave. And then you're just a loser with two friends. Yup.
I'm pretty sure I cried the night before, in anticipation of the suckiness to come.

In the end my birthday didn't suck though...mostly because Fran is Best Ever.
When I miserably emerged in the morning our teeny little lounge was full of balloons, and she gave me birthday cake with candles, and a tiny music box.
And when I went to take a shower she'd taped bits of paper with "Happy Birthday We Love You" all over the bathroom...And later we got drunk and played the "Drink Every time My Mother Would Be Shocked" game watching The Breakfast Club and Heathers...and Skyped our Gaby in Germany during her lunch break.
Actually, when I meet Kate Cooper, she might have to be my almost-best friend for ever.

Anyway this year's is going to be amazing. I've decided. I'm making lists. Even present wish lists, which is weird because I don't actually like birthday presents.
I like presents, especially small, weird ,unexpected, but it's not even my birthday presents (like rocks, and chocolate, and crayons, and look I drew you a pictures) but I don't like birthday presents.
They always make feel awkward and but, I didn't get you anything-ish...also nervous. I think the nervous part is because of my mother, she buys strange gifts. Which are sometimes awesome...and sometimes not.

Once she gave me a bike lock. I didn't have a bike. And for my 15th birthday she took me to "Owlcatraz"...lots of owls..fun if you're 6...or like animals.
She also (recently) went through a pottery class phase, I have a glazed plaque somewhere that says "Jesus Rulz" (thanks Mum)
Awesome presents = A bike...so I could use the bike lock. A Tibetan dagger (which the antique dealer swore was authentic and had been used for chopping off peoples' ears, but I think he was lying, I hope.), a set of old leather binoculars ( that have "le club de courses de chevaux de Paris" stamped round the side) and the year I turned nine, I came home from school and she'd squished an old piano into my bedroom, because she'd decided that I should have lessons.
The awesomeness outweighs the less-than-awesomeness really...but I still get nervous.

Maybe I should send her my wish list...since I've been making lists.
Wanna see my wish list? Yes.

Beth's Birthday Wishlist.

A Kitten.
Drawing pencils.
Books.
Shoes- Of the impractical hard to walk in kind.
- And the sparkly sneaker kind.
Ribbons and sparkly things.
Woolly stockings.
A teapot.
A snuggly coat.
Cook books.
A singing toothbrush.
Vivids...for graffiti-ing.
A typewriter ( I have one, in a box somewhere, maybe someone could just bring it to me?)
Groceries.
Stickabubbles.
Zebra Finches
Miniature people to live in shoe boxes underneath my bed and come out when I'm bored.
A Unicorn.
Someone to write my assignments for me.

But mostly I just want a unicorn. I'll probably ask for groceries though.

I'm Not A Vampire, But I Do Like Music.

So oh oh oh oh...it's Sunday morning...Happy Sunday Chickpeas.

I'm not asleep, because before Twilight came out and ruined everything for all of us, I was a vampire.

But now..

Vampire = Lame (I am not lame) therefore I = Someone who cannot sleep, but isn't a vampire.

A little word math for ya...and some bad grammar.

I'm not actually going to write about anything in particular, because it's 4.30 am. And my mind most closely, at this present moment, resembles that of an A.D.D 7 yr old who's been drinking espresso...and possibly dropped a couple of pills while they were at it.

I know, scary thought. Poor child.

Also my flatmates (who coincidentally have been pill popping) are blasting horrible, ugly music, making it hard to hold onto thoughts long enough to finish a sentence.

Music, music, music...I wish they'd at least listen to good music.

Tempted to hijack their iPods and replace all of their "bitches and ho's down in the ghetto, yo yo crib homie shit" with music that I like..

Ooh look... I'm going to throw some music links at you (yes, at all 3 (?) of you).

You should click on them, and listen to the mellifluous lovelies... it's Sunday, what else have you got to do?

An Horse...I am in band-love, their music makes my eyes squeeze tight shut and my chest hurt..in a good way.

(and yes, I just quoted from my own twitter...maybe I am lame enough to be a vampire?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ42ilIcRBc

This one's stranger, I think they're still just a Youtube band..super-cute little Danish sisters. Aww. And they're actually really good...presenting Pil and Liv. (Sounds like a Disney Channel show, right? Cute.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wjc7KSUsAo&feature=channel_page

Emily Wells covers Notorious BIG - Juicy.

Yes, I realise that I talk about her way too much..but um, girl crush.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv35AY_3Row

I only heard this Kimya Dawson song today (thank you Chesca dear) but I already love it..."I like giants/ especially girl ones/ cos all girls feel too big sometimes/ regardless of their size"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFvRe_Zk3VI

Also the video made me giggle.

Just because this is possibly my favourite song, ever...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74ezTBSuKy0

And finally, I have had this song in my head for about 5 days now...how embarrassing.

I keep catching myself humming along to it (while it plays in my brain) in public...foot tapping, yeah, yeah-ing. I don't even know if I like it. I don't think I do. But I secretly might.

Lady Sovereign http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dYxu2QVlpk blatantly ripping off

The Cure.

Good Night/Morning/ Whatever...I'm going to go and sleep forever. Or at least stare at the ceiling for a few hours.

An Admission Of Undying Love.

Dear bus girl.

You are cute.

Run away with me? We will live in a gingerbread house, by the sea.

And raise angora rabbits...love cures all ills, even allergies.

Please met me on the number 18 bus tomorrow.

(I'm the girl who blushes lots and drops things)

B.